Why do I have unconditional love for my grandchildren....warts, stubborn streaks, meltdowns and all? Because this is my last chance to get it right.
When they are being disciplined by their parents I must bite my tongue and wait for the sting to pass. I know they must be taught right from wrong. Not taking children to task can cause the naughty kids we see now and then in grocery stores and who later grow into entitled adults.
I was by the pool one afternoon when my six year old grandson got into trouble with his father. He tried to explain why it wasn't his fault and his father was having none of his excuses. He was told to help cover the pool and the meltdown began. Then he was issued a time out on a chair. By the time he was told to sit, he had been called for three strikes for not minding. His father and siblings started walking for home, but my youngest grandson would not budge. I sat with him and waited for my opportunity.
"No one likes me," he said.
"Lots of people like you," I replied. "Who doesn't like you?"
"Dad doesn't like me. He hurt my feelings. Mom likes me." He then mentioned that his brother and sister didn't like him either.
"Does getting mad and yelling make things better?" I asked.
"No," he said.
"When your dad asks you to do something, you can't say you won't do it. That is naughty."
"He hurt my feelings."
"You were pestering your sister and she got angry with you. You were both to blame. Your dad didn't want to hear your complaining."
He listened to my words, but continued to sulk. I said, "I'm going in the house now. You need to go home as you can't stay by yourself at the pool."
He followed me down the steps and I knelt in the grass to be more at his level.
"I will always love you and be with you," I said.
He looked at me and said, "Not when you die."
I hugged him and said, "When I die, I will be a little angel around your head watching out for you."
The look on his face was indescribable. It was a look of wonder that something like that might really be possible. This little boy will need countless guardian angels in his life to protect him from himself. May they be circling as I write.
"Now go home and say you're sorry and maybe dad will take away your strikes," I said.
"He never does."
"Say you're sorry anyway."
After a final tight hug that could keep a grandmother warm on a winter's night, he turned and walked toward home. I watched him go and shouted, "I love you Carter."
"Love you too grandma." was his reply.
When they are being disciplined by their parents I must bite my tongue and wait for the sting to pass. I know they must be taught right from wrong. Not taking children to task can cause the naughty kids we see now and then in grocery stores and who later grow into entitled adults.
I was by the pool one afternoon when my six year old grandson got into trouble with his father. He tried to explain why it wasn't his fault and his father was having none of his excuses. He was told to help cover the pool and the meltdown began. Then he was issued a time out on a chair. By the time he was told to sit, he had been called for three strikes for not minding. His father and siblings started walking for home, but my youngest grandson would not budge. I sat with him and waited for my opportunity.
"No one likes me," he said.
"Lots of people like you," I replied. "Who doesn't like you?"
"Dad doesn't like me. He hurt my feelings. Mom likes me." He then mentioned that his brother and sister didn't like him either.
"Does getting mad and yelling make things better?" I asked.
"No," he said.
"When your dad asks you to do something, you can't say you won't do it. That is naughty."
"He hurt my feelings."
"You were pestering your sister and she got angry with you. You were both to blame. Your dad didn't want to hear your complaining."
He listened to my words, but continued to sulk. I said, "I'm going in the house now. You need to go home as you can't stay by yourself at the pool."
He followed me down the steps and I knelt in the grass to be more at his level.
"I will always love you and be with you," I said.
He looked at me and said, "Not when you die."
I hugged him and said, "When I die, I will be a little angel around your head watching out for you."
The look on his face was indescribable. It was a look of wonder that something like that might really be possible. This little boy will need countless guardian angels in his life to protect him from himself. May they be circling as I write.
"Now go home and say you're sorry and maybe dad will take away your strikes," I said.
"He never does."
"Say you're sorry anyway."
After a final tight hug that could keep a grandmother warm on a winter's night, he turned and walked toward home. I watched him go and shouted, "I love you Carter."
"Love you too grandma." was his reply.
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| A note Carter gave to me one summer day. |
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