It's Come to This

I am sitting up very straight as I write this new post. I have realized for a long time that I am slumping over at an alarming rate. My mother always used to preach good posture, but somehow over the years, maybe with correcting too many student papers, it was easier to

just bend low so I could read sloppy penmanship. Whatever my excuse, it has come to this. I probably should get a brace to wear around the house to keep my shoulders back. Yes, they have such a thing and yes, I’m probably going to buy one.

I had an aunt once that started talking to me about how she always stood up straight. The conversation came out of nowhere and I figured she was referring to my posture, but I gave it little thought. This was the same aunt who one day when I went to visit her, was in her garden. She looked up at me and said, “You’re fat.” Fat and slumpy. What a combination.

While looking on Amazon for a back brace my husband pointed out an elastic sleeve for my knee which has gone to pot. I am thinking these would make great Christmas presents if my children ask me what I want.

I don’t need a thing as a present except those items that help my body or keep me alive. I recently bought some grip like things to put on my boots in case I would like to walk on the snowy road or out to the mailbox. Last year my husband put up a railing close to the mailbox as there is a little incline on the driveway down to the box. The year before I slipped at that spot, went down on my butt and my head hit the driveway hard. It could have been one of those entries on America’s Funniest Home Videos except I never think those are funny where people are actually injured, usually with a hit between the legs. Besides, people have died by hitting their heads just like I did at the end of the driveway.

So besides a back brace or a knee sleeve, in case my children are reading this….what can they get me for Christmas? I like flowers and really good chocolate. I like books that I can read while I’m resting my knee. I don’t want a trip to someplace warm as it would mean I would have to go to an airport in the winter and maybe fly out or maybe be stranded at the airport. I don’t want to fly in a plane that has to be de-iced.

They could get me propane for our gas fireplace because I love sitting in front of that and I use a lot of propane. Or a good bottle of wine would make me happy as well. If they only want to spend a little….a bottle of Ibuprofen would be just fine. But the best present of all is just visit and bring the grand kids who always make me laugh. The laughter will cure any ailment I might have.

Living in a World of Negatives

I am surrounded by family and friends who are living in a world of pain. Not pain in the physical sense, but pain as it comes through feelings and emotions and life’s struggles. I have been internalizing this pain of theirs and it has had an effect on my daily life. I catch myself wondering how they are doing and if I can help in any way or even if I have the stamina and strength to help.

Then there is the guilt that I could be a happier person if I wasn’t dealing with their reality. The quote that you are “only as happy as your least happy child” or in my case also grandchildren and friends is with me always.

So how do we as caring humans live in this world of negatives? It isn’t just our close family and friends and their daily lives; the negatives are all around us. We can hear about them hourly as the troubles of the world are at our doorstep. We can choose to shut it out, but that doesn’t change what is happening. I prefer to be informed.

I stepped out on our deck one morning in bare feet and felt the cold of the frost the previous night. I watched the leaves drifting down like snowflakes as the sun came up and hit the trees at the end of the meadow. The creek flowing by our house brought a calmness to me. I went back in to get my camera, but knew it could not capture what nature was showing me. For a short time the scene in front of me cleansed my brain as I told myself to stop, breathe, take it in.

When my son was in high school he memorized a poem by an unknown author that he found in an obscure book. I shared it with some family and

one of my nieces illustrated the poem with flowers around the written words and gave it to me. It is framed and hanging in my son’s old bedroom. It seems to fit how I think I should face life when negativity gets me down.

THE COURAGEOUS HEART

I know that stars are in the sky

    I know the rivers run,

I know the ocean tides obey

    The mandate of the sun.

I know the flowers trust in God

    As year by year they bloom

Then why should I so fearful be

    Of destiny or doom?

I know that through all life there runs

    One great eternal law.

I know that ignorance is sin

    And fear the only flaw.

And knowing truth and fearing naught

    I go my quiet way,

Assured that a courageous heart

    Shall win the darkest day

Music that fits into this mood perfectly and can soothe one’s soul is Ashokan Farewell. It is a tender song that tells life’s story in so many ways. Ken Burns used it in his Civil War series on PBS a few years back. If you feel like taking the time to listen to this beautiful melody go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RMNoIzUY-0

Nighttime Insanity

The clock read 1:25 a.m. when I woke up to feel heartburn crawling around my chest. Must have been the cider I drank before bedtime or maybe the two or was it three pumpkin peeps I had along with the cider.

I lay there for awhile contemplating if the heartburn was bad enough for me to get up and take something. Lying on my side looking out the window I noticed car lights reflecting off the trees. Who would be on our dead end road at this time of the night?

I hustled out of bed and walked into the north bedroom and just caught the taillights going down the hill away from the house. Good - whoever it was, they were on their way out. But who was it? By now my heartburn was really kicking in so I proceeded to the kitchen for the ever trusty Ranitidine tablets.

Into my mind came the thought that there had been someone at the end of the road in the afternoon and they had turned around and left.

Had that person returned to steal something? My thoughts often go to the dark side after the midnight hour.

To get in a more positive vein I wondered if the Muskegon Chronicle delivery guy was delivering the Sunday paper. Why not go check? If the paper was there, then I’d know there weren’t any people up to no good. Besides I was curious to know how Mona Shores beat Muskegon in Friday night’s football game. I would probably be awake for awhile and that would be good reading.

I shoved my feet into some slip on shoes, grabbed a jacket off the hook to cover my nightgown and unlocked the door. I hesitated before turning on the outside light on the garage, but figured it was better to light my way to the end of the driveway.

The shadows turned my legs into toothpicks which I found amusing. In the next second a panicked feeling came over me as I saw car lights coming toward me where the last car had gone out and disappeared. What the heck? Why were the bad guys returning? I knew how stupid I would look to anyone, let alone someone I didn’t know. I felt like a deer in the headlights until the fight or flight mechanism in my brain kicked in. I chose flight.

The garage door was down so I couldn’t hide there and I had to run fast to make it to the house. If only I hadn’t turned that darned outside light on. At first I was jogging toward the house and then as the lights got closer I started to sprint. For two glorious seconds I felt powerful and strong and fast. It felt like it did when I was a kid running. Then old age hit me in the face. My left knee buckled with a shooting pain in my kneecap. I grabbed the railing to pull myself up to the small deck and gasping I opened the entryway door and snapped off the outside light. When I entered the kitchen I turned that light off as well. I was convinced no one had seen me, but I was in agony.

I hobbled to the front window and watched the car drive slowly toward the middle of our property. I couldn’t see if it was going up my son’s driveway but by this time I had figured out the scenario. If I hadn’t been in so much pain I would have taken a vehicle to the end of the road just to make sure there wasn't a strange car there.

But instead I downed three Ibuprofen and stiff legged it back to my bed. As I tried to get comfortable my husband asked me if I had been awake and if I needed a back rub. I said, “I did something stupid.”

He said, “Oh, O.K.” and went back to sleep.

Around 2:30 a.m. he was awake enough to hear the story and he got the heating pad. It has been heat and ice on my poor knee ever since. Hopefully it will mend.

There was no boogeyman in the night. Our granddaughter Avery had a friend over whose parents were staying down the road at our neighbors. Her friend Ava had felt sick in the middle of the night so my daughter-in-law was taking her back to be with her parents. In essence I was running from my daughter-in-law.

I am now paying the price for going nuts in those dark hours. However I have to confess by saying it’s not the first time I’ve been out of my mind at night and it probably won’t be the last.   

Autumn Tribute to Mr.Frost

               THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
                             
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far a I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

                                           -Robert Frost


Robert Frost has always been one of my favorite American poets. His works often take us into nature and leave a twist at the end. I find his lines comprehensible, but with something thought provoking added. I thought of him this morning as I was starting to write a letter to a friend and my husband came into the house and said, "Get dressed in something warm; get your camera and go to the big meadow. The light is just right.

I dressed and then put on a winter jacket, gloves without fingers, ear muffs and hopped on the golf cart.  When I got to the big meadow I gasped.  It was that fantastic. The sun was hitting the woods at the far end of the meadow and the colors were at their peak.  The family dog Penny was excited we were out and about and she ran along side the cart.

I parked in the middle of the meadow and started snapping shots. The perimeter had color that couldn't be beat by any trip further north. I waited for the sun to get higher and the shadows on the bottom of the trees to disappear. I decided it was my time to capture what might be gone in a few days.  

So I drove the golf cart all over the farm finding shots by pointing my camera up through tree leaves to the sky and down on the ground at leaves artistically paired with rocks and moss. I took photos of leaves in the water, a small waterfall at the spring, our old barn, the pond and then I got in the car for shots around the neighborhood. I went to Gales Pond where I used to take my English classes for creative writing this time of year. I drove down a road that is so close to us that went past the Oceana Grange building.  I was surprised to find that I had never been to the end of that road.  I discovered a chartreuse field of asparagus all leafed out with colorful trees behind it.  

I drove down another road and as I glanced to my left I saw a number of trees that were each a different solid color.The sun was hitting them just right, but when I got out to take a picture the sun had disappeared. I had to return later and got a five second opportunity to capture them in the sunshine.

Robert Frost's poem kept looping through my head all morning as I trekked down dirt roads and paved roads.  Now I will show you what I saw.  I'm sure everyone who lives in Michigan has seen similar sights the last few days and has them stored in their head for a cold winter's night.  

The road leading to the center of our farm.

                                                      The Big Meadow                               

Looking up

A forest floor covered with color.

Rays of sunshine coming through the trees by the spring.

My favorite place on the farm....the spring.

Stepping Stones

Old but solid.

Pond reflections



A rainbow of trees.



Beauty beyond belief.

Shades of nature on a road I had never taken before today.
..



Our neighbor's waterfall behind her house.





The loveliness of a country farm house in October.

Last Glimpse

 A final look at various places in England and Edinburgh, Scotland that tell a little more of the story of our travels.  

Stonehenge with what is called the slaughter stone in front.  The stone circle was erected around 2500 BC.  It is one
of the wonders of the world.  We visited on a gray and misty morning and I felt a sense of awe that such a thing could be erected in prehistoric times and still survive.  

At Stonehenge this photo shows the distance visitors must stand from the stones.

Very gooey English pastries. 

Building in Stow-on-the Wold.  A lovely little town in the Cotswolds.

I liked this knob on the door of the loo at a coffee shop.

Just cute.

Despite the antique sign there was no antique store here.  In fact in our travels I only saw one antique store.

So appropriate as there are sheep everywhere in the UK.

Very strange sculptured hedge in Chipping Campden.  

A large old house in the town of Chipping Campden in the Cotswolds.

I was struck by the bright green walls in one room of William
 Wordworth's house, Rydal Mount.

A side yard at Wordsworth's house overlooking Lake Windermere.

Beatrix Potter's house at Hill Top. If you haven't seen the movie Miss Potter, it is a good
one to watch about her life.  The house is filled with little treasures.

Beatrix's garden.  Can't you see the bunnies hiding in the plants?

Stone buildings and stone walls everywhere.

Stepping Stones across a small river in the Lake District.  

Edinburgh, Scotland

Roses against a stone wall in the city center.

Castle on one end of the Royal Mile.

A street musician.  Wouldn't you expect a kilt in Scotland?

The World of William Wordsworth

When our son toured the Lake District of England in 1997 he said he thought it was as beautiful as Switzerland.  I wasn’t sure I could agree with that until I experienced it myself. It does indeed have a remarkable gentle beauty that can not be matched by anything I have ever seen.  The romantic poet William Wordsworth (1770-1850) was inspired by the beauty and one of my favorite poems by him was one I chose to read to my class when I was in 6th grade.  I will only quote the opening stanza.

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o’er vales and hills

When all at once I saw

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze

We visited both homes of Wordsworth, Dove Cottage in Grasmere and Rydal Mount a few miles outside of Grasmere. Dove Cottage was small and dark and they were burning a coal fire while we were there which made me feel a bit nauseated.  I liked the look of the cottage from the outside but would have been claustrophobic if I had had to live there.  Yet Wordsworth wrote much of his important poetry in that small place.

On the other hand Rydal Mount was bright and large and there were only two other people visiting the house when I was there.  Hack chose to walk other places and didn’t go inside.  After seeing the house I then had the side yard and garden all to myself. Wordsworth and his family lived here in his later years.  When his daughter died after being ill most of her life, Wordsworth who was 77 at the time along with his wife Mary planted a meadow of daffodils in her memory.  The field has regenerated itself over the years and can still be seen today in the spring with all its splendor.  

The back of Dove Cottage.

Beauty outside the window at Dove Cottage.

Rydal Mount, the second house of William, his wife
Mary and sister Dorothy

Bouquet of flowers in living room of Rydal Mount.

A view from an upstairs bedroom window at Rydal Mount.

The story of Wordsworth's daughter.  

Old needlework in one of the bedrooms.

Flowers in a side garden

A view of Rydal Mount from the lower lawn.

Stone building on lower lawn.

A lower patio at Rydal Mount with a view of Lake Windermere.

The hills above Lake Windermere where William Wordsworth wandered and found inspiration.