It's Come to This

I am sitting up very straight as I write this new post. I have realized for a long time that I am slumping over at an alarming rate. My mother always used to preach good posture, but somehow over the years, maybe with correcting too many student papers, it was easier to

just bend low so I could read sloppy penmanship. Whatever my excuse, it has come to this. I probably should get a brace to wear around the house to keep my shoulders back. Yes, they have such a thing and yes, I’m probably going to buy one.

I had an aunt once that started talking to me about how she always stood up straight. The conversation came out of nowhere and I figured she was referring to my posture, but I gave it little thought. This was the same aunt who one day when I went to visit her, was in her garden. She looked up at me and said, “You’re fat.” Fat and slumpy. What a combination.

While looking on Amazon for a back brace my husband pointed out an elastic sleeve for my knee which has gone to pot. I am thinking these would make great Christmas presents if my children ask me what I want.

I don’t need a thing as a present except those items that help my body or keep me alive. I recently bought some grip like things to put on my boots in case I would like to walk on the snowy road or out to the mailbox. Last year my husband put up a railing close to the mailbox as there is a little incline on the driveway down to the box. The year before I slipped at that spot, went down on my butt and my head hit the driveway hard. It could have been one of those entries on America’s Funniest Home Videos except I never think those are funny where people are actually injured, usually with a hit between the legs. Besides, people have died by hitting their heads just like I did at the end of the driveway.

So besides a back brace or a knee sleeve, in case my children are reading this….what can they get me for Christmas? I like flowers and really good chocolate. I like books that I can read while I’m resting my knee. I don’t want a trip to someplace warm as it would mean I would have to go to an airport in the winter and maybe fly out or maybe be stranded at the airport. I don’t want to fly in a plane that has to be de-iced.

They could get me propane for our gas fireplace because I love sitting in front of that and I use a lot of propane. Or a good bottle of wine would make me happy as well. If they only want to spend a little….a bottle of Ibuprofen would be just fine. But the best present of all is just visit and bring the grand kids who always make me laugh. The laughter will cure any ailment I might have.

Living in a World of Negatives

I am surrounded by family and friends who are living in a world of pain. Not pain in the physical sense, but pain as it comes through feelings and emotions and life’s struggles. I have been internalizing this pain of theirs and it has had an effect on my daily life. I catch myself wondering how they are doing and if I can help in any way or even if I have the stamina and strength to help.

Then there is the guilt that I could be a happier person if I wasn’t dealing with their reality. The quote that you are “only as happy as your least happy child” or in my case also grandchildren and friends is with me always.

So how do we as caring humans live in this world of negatives? It isn’t just our close family and friends and their daily lives; the negatives are all around us. We can hear about them hourly as the troubles of the world are at our doorstep. We can choose to shut it out, but that doesn’t change what is happening. I prefer to be informed.

I stepped out on our deck one morning in bare feet and felt the cold of the frost the previous night. I watched the leaves drifting down like snowflakes as the sun came up and hit the trees at the end of the meadow. The creek flowing by our house brought a calmness to me. I went back in to get my camera, but knew it could not capture what nature was showing me. For a short time the scene in front of me cleansed my brain as I told myself to stop, breathe, take it in.

When my son was in high school he memorized a poem by an unknown author that he found in an obscure book. I shared it with some family and

one of my nieces illustrated the poem with flowers around the written words and gave it to me. It is framed and hanging in my son’s old bedroom. It seems to fit how I think I should face life when negativity gets me down.

THE COURAGEOUS HEART

I know that stars are in the sky

    I know the rivers run,

I know the ocean tides obey

    The mandate of the sun.

I know the flowers trust in God

    As year by year they bloom

Then why should I so fearful be

    Of destiny or doom?

I know that through all life there runs

    One great eternal law.

I know that ignorance is sin

    And fear the only flaw.

And knowing truth and fearing naught

    I go my quiet way,

Assured that a courageous heart

    Shall win the darkest day

Music that fits into this mood perfectly and can soothe one’s soul is Ashokan Farewell. It is a tender song that tells life’s story in so many ways. Ken Burns used it in his Civil War series on PBS a few years back. If you feel like taking the time to listen to this beautiful melody go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RMNoIzUY-0